films that have not been produced so far (06.12.2002)

updated (link) !!!

these texts are of explicit sexual nature. i warned you!

moby's dick

a sailor called moby with the prick's size of a whale gets his dick bitten off by a prostitute after he falls asleep because he paid her with sperm whale oil instead of money. ever since he had to use a wooden dummy instead of his real prick.
in order to find this prostitute again whom everyone calls 'the white woman', as she is so pale, and have revenge on her he sails the seven seas with his crew.
since his eyesight becomes pretty bad with the years he has no other choice than to sleep with all of the women who look more or less similar to 'the white woman' to judge by their orgasmic screams whether they're the real one or not.
in the end he finds her and they both go down in an exhaustive sexual battle. whether they drown in sea of cum remains to be seen.

analien

a spaceship crew finds a yet unknown species on an abandoned and takes it aboard for further examinations. during an examination, the ship's doctor wants to perform surgery on this alien. after the first cut, the analien jumps up screaming because it was merely dormant, not in some kind of comatose state. mistaking the doctor's action as hostile action, the analien starts taking ship's crew down member by member by means of anal penetration which, on the analien's homeworld, is both an act of self-defense and reproduction.
unfortunately, the analien's cum consists of highly acid fluids which should lend itself to some interesting pictures in this movie.

could be that there will be several sequels... ;-)

prick and pussy juice

two well-hung and not exactly poor white guys that share a flat move into mostly afro-american neighbourhood in modern l.a. the next door afro-american family five daughters all of which have excellent bodies.
their parents are very eager to meet these white guys in order to couple at least one of their daughters with either one of them.
though the whities share a flat, they're not very much alike in terms of racial equality so that one of the two constantly talks about afro-american women 'only being good enough for sucking'. the other whitie is very open-minded and soon gets acquintainted with the oldest daughter.
despite his unfriendly talk, the family's middle, most intelligent daughter would still get to know the 'unfriendly' whitie much better and gives it several approaches, none of which succeed.
in the end she runs off with an army stud which sets unfriendly whitie in some fuming rage of envy and he goes after her. in a sexual duel that lasts several rounds between army stud und whitie, the daughter decides to head back home with the whitie where they all celebrate with an orgy.

lord of the cock-ring

tumult has come over the sinful city of lust (l.a.). a new dark porn lord has risen to power and his goal is to enslave all that live in his realms and thus create the ultimate porn business without any rivals. a goal he cannot achieve without his mightiest tool: the cock ring that was created by elder gods from the leather taken from the cow that the israelites bowed to while moses went to receive the then commandments.
the ring was lost ere long it was received by men from the elder gods. it gives its wearer ultimate potency. it is the only item that keeps the dark lord from reigning again since he has already gathered the nine other symbols of power: three lesser cock rings once given to man, three golden vibrators never running out of power given to woman and ultra-thin and re-usable condoms given to the wise and mighty supervisors of healthy who thus opposed the spreading of the dark lord's most vicious weapon: a infectious disease leading to the loss of will and ultimately death.

now it is the hands of a midget and his gay servant who came upon the cock ring by chance to find a hidden path into the dark realm and destroy it in the heart of the black city.
a perilous journey through the dark and gloomy backyards where danger waits at every corner and help is scarce but often comes in unexected forms.

will the midget be victorious in the end while the wise men gear up for the final battle to draw the dark ruler's attention from the midget's doing? or will the midget give in and become the dark lord himself?

in a tale as rich as was never seen before, you'll see stunning close-up shots of the hottest action ever seen in film history and orgies of incomprehensible dimensions...

background:

i had the idea of writing these texts for quite some time. i don't expect anyone to like them, either... but if you want to contribute, either complete new films or additional in the existing few films, pls make my day (send me an e-mail)
people that know me might be surprised to read such material on my homepage but... yeah... what i'm supposed to say... it's just me :-)

update

in november 2005, a film called "being ron jeremy" was released (ron jeremy, "the porn-hedgehog"). an article about it was farked on fark.com and to celebrate the occasion, they added a top ten pr0n movie list based on the latest blockbusters... read for yourself.
frankly, i think i provide better scripts... but maybe i'm over-estimating the intelligence of the average viewer of that genre and they are too complicated (the scripts, not the viewers)...

Top Ten Porn Movies Based On The Latest Movie Blockbusters
Naughty Movies...

Here we present the hottest porn versions of the latest box office hits... All with a short family friendly description.
10

Prude and Pre-juiced

Handsome motor mechanic, Mickey Dean, helps persuade a prudish nun to return to the church after a close encounter with a fruit juicing machine.
9

The Legendary Swords Man, Zorro

Zorro may have met his match when a new kid on the block comes round his house to do some 'sword sharpening'. The two hit it off and render merciless an entire village of welcoming nymphets.
8

Saw You, See Me II

Erotica in Magicland. What does the sworn in half lady do when she is being sworn in half? You may never be able to cut a tomato with a sharp blade again after this shocking, and yet ultimately rewarding, journey down suggestiville lane.
7

Get Hitched or Die Trying

Will Smith look-a-likie, Fred Quimby, has the knack for getting couples together... watch this grotesque fetish flick in which the most unlikely partners do stuff together.
6

Jammed Jar Head

The title of this porn movie says as much as you probably want to know about over enthusiastic miss-shapen men. 'Humble' Hardman Horace doesn't seem to let this get in the way of his activities, however, in what is at times an hilariously winning over-the-top performance.
5

Zauranus

A medical sex comedy with Zadie Smith, the 56 inch breasted love momma, playing nurse to a catalogue of needy and wanting patients. Noted mainly as this was the film that got the first ever 56 rating from the movie censors in Uzbekistan.
4

Deflowered

Missionary and flower gatherer Macy Grable is only happy picking and arranging flowers. That is until woodsman Hart Hungry arrives on the scene....
3

Chicken Big Boy

Chicken Big Boy tells all of his friends that the sky is about to fall in but, in a twist to the original fable, when the sky doesn't fall in, he still manages to have his way with 'all and sundry'.
2

Walk The Pony

Zade Horsefellow guides her stable of partners through the jump trials and flat races...
1

Harry Rotter And The On-Fire Gobbling

The fourth outing for Rotter, now coming of age and at that certain age. Out go the eyeglasses and in come girls and stuff...