The Proper Function Of BrainDumps

By A. J. Axline ("dump" being the key word)

Here, revealed for the first time, taken from scrolls of knowledge discovered behind my filing cabinet during an over-zealous bout of chasing dust bunnies, are the

Top Ten Ways to Have Fun With a Braindump Site.

(No names! I refuse to name names! Except for [censored] and [blank] and those weaselly vermin at [deleted]!)

Anyway, here we go:

10. Go to their discussion boards and post deliciously ribald mnemonic devices for the OSI model. (since I can't give an example of a clever deliciously ribald mnemonic device in this publication without provoking horror and dismay, I must rely upon you, gentle reader, to do my dirty work. Send your best deliciously ribald mnemonic device for the OSI model to bytebacknews@brainbuzz.com. The most clever, original entry will receive a BrainBuzz baseball cap. If you have no idea what a mnemonic device is, please feel free to continue on to the next paragraph with no obligation whatsoever.)

9. Send the Webmaster an e-mail asking where their nearest braindump depot is located, and if you have to wrap the brains in wax paper before you throw them in.

8. Whine pitifully that exams are too hard and books are too expensive and life's not fair...oh wait, that's a Top Ten way to USE a Braindump site.

7. Submit a Braindump detailing how to make a Betty Crocker Snackin' Cake.

6. Demand that the Webmaster change all usage of the word "Braindump" to the politically correct term, "Cerebral Rubbish Repository".

5. Enter the chat room and barge into a conversation by demanding that the other users refer to you as "King Dump". Make rude comments referring to the size of your TCP/IP stack.

4. Post a braindump message for the MS 70-240 Accelerated Exam and make all hyperlinks go to: www.cdkitchen.com/rfr/data/921869078.html

3. Take the site's most popular braindump and resubmit a distorted but plausible version of it claiming that the original is full of mistakes and you've corrected them.

2. Post a 64-page treatise on the most effective methods for preparing for a urine test. Use lots of Latin in the text. Title it "Advanced Streaming For IT Professionals". And the Number One Way To Have Fun at a Braindump Site...

1. Inform the appropriate vendor that the site is posting exam questions taken directly from their certification exams. Watch the owners get de-certified and the site shut down. Chuckle gleefully at the absolute power a stool pigeon can wield, then go back to writing loud-mouthed, sarcastic columns for BrainBuzz-- Wait...I've said too much...

A.J. Axline bytebacknews@brainbuzz.com

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