You know you have been living in Zurich too long when:

You know you have been living in Zurich too long when:

1.        You think the Noble Dubliner, the Oliver Twist and the James Joyce have a real Irish pub atmosphere;

2.        You don't think 15 francs for a glass of coke in a bar is outrageous;

3.        You read the Tages Anzeiger for news instead of finding a flat, job or what's on at the movies;

4.        You believe the news paper stand might actually be under surveillance and pay the full 2 francs instead of surreptitiously putting in 20 cents;

5.        You think radar cameras painted to look like lumps of cheese makes them less oppressive;

6.        Beggars annoy you;

7.        You buy the most expensive model or variant of everything from razors to cars;

8.        You notice how dirty French cars are;

9.        You live alone in a studio and have a cleaning lady;

10.     You don't think it unusual that you have never met a Swiss who does hard manual labour like road-digging;

11.     You don't question why it takes 12 - 18 months and costs more than a million francs to build a modest residential house;

12.     You start to wonder what's wrong when a train is more than a minute late;

13.     You put on 300 francs worth of brightly coloured lycra to go for a bicycle ride;

14.     You think Swiss advertising is dynamic, clever and subtle;

15.     You think it is economically wasteful to have more than one brand of a product in a store;

16.     You think getting up early is good;

17.     You actually get interested in the local elections;

18.     You try and defend cartel based economics to a visitor;

19.     You think that plaid jackets with flowery ties don't look that bad;

20.     You think it's fair that you can wash clothes only once a month;

21.     You wonder why anyone would want to shop outside of working hours;

22.     You think it's OK to drive slow on Sundays;

23.     You feel broke if you have less than 300 francs in your pocket;

24.     You dress up to go grocery shopping;

25.     You understand why Chinese food should cost more than normal food;

26.     You prefer Swiss wine;

27.     You wish that your town had expensive garbage bags too;

28.     You think it's OK for a Chinese restaurant to be run by a Swiss and staffed by Spaniards and Portuguese;

29.     You think Thursday night shopping is really convenient;

30.     You think that large American cars are "cool";

31.     You think it's cool to drink expensive imported American Beers;

32.     You prefer fizzy mineral water to tap water;

33.     You throw a party and expect everyone to leave by 11.30pm;

34.     You clean up "during" parties;

35.     You expect dinner guests to help with the washing up;

36.     You begin to understand the subtlety of the Swiss cuisine;

37.     You appreciate the difference between the cantons;

38.     You feel really hungry if you don't start eating lunch by 12.00;

39.     You have breakfast cereal for dinner;

40.     You don't mind paying 20 francs for a paperback book;

41.     You think Swisscom approved telephones are better;

42.     You buy a new one instead of getting it repaired;

43.     You think that 3% unemployment is high;

44.     You think it was through its own efforts that Switzerland stayed out of World War II;

45.     You consider getting goats and sheep to graze in your back garden;

46.     You only eat fondue in winter;

47.     You complain to your neighbour about the noise when he flushes his toilet after 10.00pm;

48.     You become interested in the myriad of insurance offerings;

49.     You become concerned about the colour of your neighbour's curtains;

50.     You put Aromat on all your food;

51.     You worry about getting a cold when there's a draught;

52.     You become offended when reading this.

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